what i learned from school
- im a fucking piece of shit
- everybody else is also a fucking piece of shit
- mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
white people be like “i love mexican food” but they cant name anything else than nachos and maybe burritos
did you know that teachers are instructed to get in between two boys in an altercation and break their eye contact because boys will disengage once the immediate situation is interrupted but they’re instructed to like never ever get in between two girls in a fight because girls wont stop after they lose sight and will actively try to go through whatever’s in between them and teachers are supposed to wait for security to break the shit apart
teenage girls will fuck your shit up
OKAY WOWIE YOU GUYS REALLY NEED TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE PANTENE DID A COMMERCIAL ABOUT HOW SHIT LABELS AGAINST WOMEN ARE AND ITS JUST SO GREAT WOWIE
do you wonder if god ever thinks ‘woah these humans were kinda a bad idea’
when people are like
"omg we cant say anything nowadays without offending someone!!"
all i hear is:
"im too lazy to change a few words when i’m talking and full enough of myself to think my minor effort trumps the terrible life experiences of oppressed people"
case in point
“teenagers skip breakfast because they think it will help them lose weight” ACTUALLY NO THATS BULLSHIT TEENAGERS SKIP BREAKFAST SO THEY CAN MAKE IT TO SCHOOL ON TIME WITHOUT WAKING UP AT 4 IN THE MORNING